


Another Room in Your Mind

by aheadfulloffollies



Category: Alice by Heart - Sheik/Sater/Sater & Nelson
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff to Angst, contains spoilers, set after ABH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26096140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aheadfulloffollies/pseuds/aheadfulloffollies
Summary: Set after the events of the musical, Alice grapples with Alfred's death.
Relationships: Alfred Hallam/Alice Spencer
Kudos: 5





	Another Room in Your Mind

It was too quiet.

Why was it so quiet?

There was always some sort of noise in the bunkers. Half of the time, Alice didn’t know where it was coming from. But it was never, ever this silent.

Then again, it wasn’t often that she was awake quite so late. And when she was, it was always with Alfred. They’d laugh, talk, and share stories quietly under the cover of night with no one else to hear them but the stars.

“I love you,” she whispered softly. Tears filled her eyes, blurring her vision so that she could almost see him there, just barely out of reach. Always out of reach, never close enough to touch. Never close enough to love.

Her eyes slipped shut as she let the pillow she was grasping for dear life drop from her arms.

“Alfred,” she whispered.

“I don’t have much time,” he said, the urgency in his voice underlined by his frail stature. But none of that mattered- he was back. He was back.

“Then we’ll make the best of it,” she insisted, leaping to her feet, not caring about the others who surrounded them in the bunker. “Come, what shall we do? Wonderland is waiting, or perhaps we should talk? I have so much to tell you,” she rushed to say. Glancing back up, she paused at Alfred’s expression.

The corners of his mouth were barely hitched up, his eyes turned down to look toward her. They were such a soft, lovely brown, the colour of melted chocolate and just as capturing. They glinted dully under the barely-there light of the bunker, but those small sparks were like stars in a night sky to Alice. Everything about him shined like she thought a home must, and it was as if it all did just for her.

“Perhaps,” he said, a note of melancholy in his voice that Alice didn’t know how to place and another of humor, “we might dance?”

“Dance,” she said, her voice a breath of whisper.

His hands gently took hers, their warmth encompassing her in the most delightful way.

He led, the gentle, slow movements as calming as the steady wave of an ocean. That’s exactly what Alfred was, she supposed- steady. He would give up anything for the people he loved.

For her.

Her plain dress swirled as he spun her once, the grin on his face sparking something in Alice’s own heart as she let out a giddy laugh.

He led her gently back to him, and she realized suddenly that it wasn’t quiet anymore. No, the world was a symphony when Alfred was near. The snores of those in the bunker were a steady drum beat to the faint buzz of electricity and soft laughs shared by the two friends. The rustling of blankets accompanied their orchestra, and the patter of light footsteps from a late-night dance created a song more beautiful than any other Alice could name.

“I’m running out of time,” Alfred said once more as their dancing slowed to something far more intimate than before. “But I would stay for you.”

She shook her head. “You’ll have all the time in the world, here, with me. There’s no need for worry or stress when we’re together.”

He went silent, moving his hand from her waist to gently run it down the side of her face. She felt goosebumps rise on her skin at the touch, a shiver racing down her spine despite the warmth of Alfred so close.

“Alice, my love…”

His nose brushed hers, a gentle whisper of what could be.

She didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to worry. Didn’t want to remember. Didn’t want anything but for him to always be here, holding her. What was there if not that?

Their lips brushed oh so slightly before suddenly he was spinning her again, far too fast, far too soon…

But then she no longer felt the warmth of his hand, the tremble of his breath, the thump of his heartbeat or light of his smile. She was spinning out of control, and Alfred was not there to help her.

Where was he? Where did he go?

Something cupped her face gently, but it wasn’t his hand- no, Alfred had never been so cold.

Opening her eyes slowly, Alice’s tears spilled down her face near-silently as she covered her mouth. Waking anyone in the bunker would lead to nothing good. Sleep was sparse for everyone nowadays, and they would not appreciate giving it up, even for heartbreak.

“Alfred…” The word was choked out, strained, a cry for help with no one there to deliver.

What a cruel punishment. What had she done to deserve it? Death. Not from the blitz, not a crude accident with someone to blame and a cause to action. But from disease, a fault of no one’s. There was nothing to blame except Death itself, the cruel spirit that thought it wise to make sure a little girl could never dream again.

There would never be another dance.

There would never be another home so steady.

There would never be another time he held her in his arms, never another soft smile or look of longing, never another laugh or story or promise.

Never another Alfred.

Tears soaking the hem of her dress as she tried to wipe them away, she shook her head far too strong and forced herself to calm the tears. What was the point, with no one there to wipe them away or tell her it would be okay? With no one to share them with?

Taking another steadying breath, she closed her eyes and tucked him away into her heart. Alfred, Wonderland, dancing and death. They would have to reside there until she could find another room in her mind, one where life had a glimmer of hope not found in all-too-familiar eyes of someone she loved.

It was quiet again.

Far too quiet.


End file.
